Talking about difficult people has become such a hot topic at my workshops, that I revised my book to include a chapter on how to manage them! Obstinate individuals are not going to change, and they are everywhere whether it’s the bank, your office, your family, your in-laws, and they tend to evoke negative emotions: stress, aggravation, tension, frustration and anger. That is until now. I’d like to share a couple of my simply brilliant practices to help you deal with difficult people in the most dignified way.
Don’t argue with someone who is confrontational. The person is fueled by debating, and you just get drained. The first few times I walked away from someone who was looking for an argument, I said to myself, “I can’t believe I’m doing this! I want to jump down this person’s throat!” But I’ve learned that when I walk away silently, my energy level stays high, and I can focus on projects that bring deep meaning into my life. I am a writer and a blogger today because my energy is harnessed in places where I can be constructive and creative, which allows me to be my best self.
Guess what? If they are not arguing with you, they find someone else to bother! The trick is to walk away in neutral. Don’t roll your eyes, don’t let out any grunts, just walk away gracefully. If you make any negative gestures, facial expressions, or sounds, they know they’ve got you!
Everyone loves this next suggestion: If I’m having an issue with someone (it could be my husband, my mother or my son as well), and we can’t seem to agree and the tension is mounting, I imagine that this person and I have a cord that’s attached to our belly buttons that is keeping us connected. The more we disagree, the thicker the cord gets. I imagine myself cutting the cord, and the person falls off a cliff. It’s not that I want the person to get hurt – I just want to energetically make the issue between us disappear. What this visual does is break the back-and-forth momentum I’ve built with this person and gives me a chance to breathe and maybe see the problem from another angle or find a creative solution. Most times, cutting the cord is enough to release some of the tension I am feeling. It definitely has less power over me. I have found that the less I do, the problem seems to work itself out or just fade away.
Presently, I am not feeling resentful of anyone. Difficult people are still around me, but I’m not attached to their behaviors anymore. I’m free!
For other great tips on dealing with difficult people, join me for a workshop at the Dumont Library on January 17th at 6:30. Register at dumont.bccls.org
My book, 11 Simply Brilliant Ideas for a Life of Love, Joy and Abundance is an inspirational guide to help you overcome life’s challenges, so you feel like a lucky, worthy person who knows how to attract success.